I laid in bed most mornings last winter wanting to disappear, imagining what it would be like to just let myself sink from the darkness to the blackness below. One morning, I looked at the Strophalos I wear around my neck and simply said aloud, “Help”. That was it. No tears. No drama. No fear. Though the depression was threatening to pull me in deeper, I remained willing to do whatever it took, although I was certain nothing would change, that help for me was not in the cards.
By spring, I was in therapy again with one of the best therapists I’ve ever had in my life. Knowing the only way out is through, I allowed myself to be guided to the other side although I had no idea what it would look like.
As this year’s winter approaches, it’s different and life feels and looks better. There’s hope again. It feels good to be brave and not broken again.
Originally appeared on Life in 10 Minutes.